Issue #013
28 days in a row on duty with the twins (yes, I counted). Business pushed to the side. Volcano Mom erupting more often than I’d like to admit.
Then came the first week of school. FINALLY!
Their dad was away. Torrential rain. Classes cancelled. My week to finally breathe turned into more hours stuck inside together.
Lunchtime. One twin wouldn’t pick the Play-Doh off the floor.
“PICK IT UP NOW OR NO LUNCH!”
Afternoon. Shouting. Wrestling. I stormed off.
“Just take care of yourselves if somebody starts bleeding!”
(Certified parenting coach, by the way.)
Shower time. Now I was crying AND yelling.
And the voice in my head:
Great job, Candice! You messed up. You haven’t changed.
That night, the boys slept in my bed, as they do when their dad’s away.
“Are you feeling better, Mom?”
I wasn’t. I wanted everyone to stop talking to me.
"I'm sorry. I'm just overwhelmed by today."
“It’s okay, Mom. We all have bad days.”
One of them rubbed my back, the same way I rub theirs when they’re upset. They hugged me. I forced myself to hug them back.
The next night (with an adult next to me this time), I kept hearing it. We all have bad days. They knew that. I taught them that. When they make a mistake, I ask them:
“Do you think this mistake makes me love you less?”
My kids saw a bad day. I saw confirmation that I still wasn’t good enough.
Try this
Next time you’ve repaired after losing it, but you’re still replaying it hours later, ask yourself:
“If my kid had my day, what would I tell them?”
Then say it to yourself.
If it sounds true, good. Go to bed.
If it sounds like a lie, write down what the voice in your head says back. Word for word.
See you next week,
Candice “Play-Doh survivor” Seenyen 🫶
P.S. If the line you wrote down sounds a lot like “You haven’t changed,” that’s exactly what I help moms with. Lose it less, and stop beating yourself up for hours after one hard moment. If you want help with that, book a call here.