Ask once, they said...

“Only ask once. If you have to repeat yourself, they learn they can ignore you.”
This week is about the moment “once” doesn’t work, and we’re left with one conclusion: somebody here is doing it wrong.

Football practice is in the city now (i.e. far). We get home late, and everyone is HANGRY. One of the twins had one job left after dinner: get his plate to the kitchen.

I asked once.

Twice.

Three times.

He does this Every.Single.Day! Why is he being so difficult??

Then I actually looked at his face. Eyes red, exhausted. He could barely move.

“I know you’re tired. And I know you can do it. You do this, and I’ll help you in the shower so you’re in bed fast.”

He complained, but took his plate to the kitchen. I carried him upstairs.

I’ve never managed “ask once.” But the rule still keeps count in my head, and past one, the count has to mean something.

Him or me. Those were my only two suspects.

I mean… by now, things should be easier, right? He’s 7. I shouldn’t have to repeat myself. That wasn’t part of the movie.

But nobody had checked the clock. 8:30pm, after football, for both of us.

Next time you’re about to ask for the 4th time, stop and look up.

What’s happening with your child? He has one page left. He held it together at school all day.

And what’s happening with you? I need this done so I can finally sit down. I just can’t with my life right now 😩

Then, when things are quiet, ask yourself:

Who did I decide was doing it wrong?

Him, because he should know better by now?
Me, because a good mom gets listened to?

And what were you expecting to happen instead?

Sometimes the expectation is what makes that 3rd ask feel so much bigger than it is.

If you keep finding yourself in these moments, book a call. We'll look at what's driving your reaction and how to handle it differently next time.